“Uhhh, honey… what are you doing?
Wait, what is THAT?!”
Oh my God! I freeze, like a deer in headlights.
My husband was NOT supposed to see this.
I’m bent over in my bathroom, where the only big mirror in my house is.
Shorts around my ankles…
Peeking over the side of my thigh…
I’ve got one hand spreading my butt cheeks…
The other nervously gripping a suppository for my hemorrhoids.
To add insult to injury…
My husband’s laughing uncontrollably...
And I’m beet red, wishing I was invisible.
I’ve suffered from relapsed hemorrhoids for the last 10 years.
Which shouldn’t have happened, since I’m a retired pharmacist.
I know all the creams and tips — I tried them all.
I tried sitz baths, itch creams, medications…
I changed my diet, got extra fiber, cut out fatty foods…
Nothing worked.
I couldn’t sit. I couldn’t walk.
I couldn’t do ANYTHING without significant burning, stinging, itching, or radiating pain.
But thanks to a wonderful turn of events…
(Don’t worry this solution didn’t require any sort of sitz bath or suppository. No surgery either… And don’t worry this isn’t messy Prep-H cream either!)
This solution is completely natural and can work in just 10-seconds.
It stops hemorrhoids
from returning.
Now, I want to show you how this discovery can give YOU instant and lasting relief too.
It’s very simple.
Yet, it’s NOT found on the grocery store shelf, at the pharmacy, or in the operating room.
So if you’re plagued by “devil hemmies” like I was…
Sharing how I healed mine is the least I can do, to show you a shortcut to escape from the torture you’re going through.
First, let me say…
I don’t feel comfortable talking about my rear end…
BUT I would like to help out anyone else who is in doubt, and skeptical — like I was.
The flare-up that finally did me in, and ultimately led to my prayers being answered, happened while I was on what was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime in Tuscany, Italy.
All my husband wanted to do was read by the hotel pool.
Not me. I was retired…
I decided to check out a cute little winery that was an hour’s drive from our hotel…
As I pulled out onto the country road…
It hit me.
It started out as just a dull, constant pain in my anus that I thought little of.
At that point in my life, I had gotten used to that sensation.
But as I continued driving, the pain got worse.
An unbearable itch developed, and it made me want to crawl out of my own skin.
Together with the pain, it was like being attacked by thousands of fire ants on my bottom, but I couldn't even fight back because any scratching would only hurt more.
Tears were streaming down my face.
Drenched in sweat and gripping the steering wheel with whitened knuckles, I was paralyzed in my seat, wondering what I had done to piss God off so badly that He felt the need to punish me like that.
I leapt out of the car, only to realize I was in the middle of a random country road with no sign of civilization.
All I knew was, I couldn’t sit in that car any longer.
I needed help… cream… painkillers… anything…
I was suffering, and alone. Or so I thought.
As I grimaced in pain, I spotted something from the corner of my eyes.
In the distance was a cluster of buildings partially hidden by trees. I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating, but I thought I heard bells ringing.
A very, very old one. I walked into the chapel.
And since I couldn’t sit, I knelt down in the second-to-last row , all the while trying to hold back my tears.
That was when I felt a hand touch my shoulder.
Sitting in the pew behind me was a monk.
He asked me if everything was okay.
At first, I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth about what had happened, and how I got there.
So I did. I explained everything. All the gory details, and how I felt like my life was ruined.
He looked at me with incredibly kind eyes, thought for a moment, and said:
“Hemorrhoids have been a problem since ancient times.
In the Old Testament, God punished the Philistines with ‘emerods’.
In Deuteronomy, Moses warned the Israelites that if they broke the law of God, the Lord would strike them with 'boils, and with tumors, eczema and the itch'.”
Hemorrhoids and itching! So it’s true, I thought.
He led me out of the chapel, along a long brick-paved path, and into another — maller — building.
“This is the Ancient Pharmacy of Camaldoli.
For centuries, in this very building, the monks from my order have cared for the sick, and helped them recover.1
In addition to a life of prayer and meditation, we cultivate the land and produce herbal teas, natural remedies, liqueurs, and cosmetics based on ancient recipes of the monastic tradition.”
Picking up a glass jar from a nearby shelf, the monk said:
“One of the many remedies we make is this hemorrhoid cream…
People from all over France visited Saint Fiacre, wanting to be cured by him.
It’s no wonder that he’s known as the patron saint of medicinal plant growers.
He’s also the patron saint of hemorrhoid sufferers.2
It MUST have been divine intervention that led Saint Fiacre to develop his herbal hemorrhoid remedy.
Remember, this was in the early middle ages…
How else could he have figured out on his own, such a potent remedy that healed the hemorrhoids of so many, when the average life expectancy then was only 35 years?”
I admit, the monk’s question hung in my mind…
I mean, it all sounded really good…
But I had a nagging feeling of doubt.
Could some 2,000 over-year-old home remedy possibly compare to the modern medicine we have today?
He told me he obviously knew the power of medicinal plants, but needed to better understand what was actually causing his
flare-ups in the first place…
And why Saint Fiacre’s remedy worked.
Because of the monastery’s focus on healing…
The monk had the time and ability to do his own deep research.
I asked him to tell me more about it.
He then explained his discoveries, and revealed how the remedy was able to end his pain, bleeding, and itching — almost instantly — without doctor visits, prescriptions, or procedures.
Here’s what the monk told me:
Now, we are all born with them and they stay with us forever…
In other words...
The question is, how do they get that way?
You’ve probably heard all the talk out there about pregnancy, constipation, obesity and low-fiber diets being the different causes of hemorrhoids.
While that is technically true, and yes, those factors tend to make hemorrhoids rear their ugly heads…
Millions of people get hemorrhoids without being pregnant…
Without being overweight or constipated…
Without having restrictive or low-fiber diets…
And they suffer for years! (No matter how much Prep-H they slather on their bum!)
So, what gives?
That’s why it’s common!
And that’s why half of everyone you know4 still endure hemorrhoids behind closed doors.
The truth is, when it comes to what REALLY causes hemorrhoids…
You’re not being given the whole picture…
There is a very important, yet little-known hemorrhoid trigger that you don’t hear or read about.
And…
It keeps our blood vessels strong, and protects them from inflammation.
We all lose collagen as
we get older.
In fact, after the age of 20, we lose about 1% of collagen each year.7
We don’t want that…
Especially when it comes to hemorrhoids.
Here’s why:
According to groundbreaking research published in the journal Techniques in Coloproctology…***
Scientists from the Cleveland Clinic*** compared the quantity and quality of collagen from two groups of people…
The first group did not have hemorrhoids.
The second group had Grade 3 and 4 hemorrhoids.
They were also going to undergo a hemorrhoidectomy, which is when you have them surgically removed.
Take a look at this:
This is the tissue of a healthy person without hemorrhoidal disease.
All of that red is Type I collagen that’s responsible for making our connective tissue strong.
It’s practically everywhere you look.
Now, THIS is the tissue of a person with hemorrhoidal disease:
Notice the difference?
The tissue of the person with hemorrhoids has entire areas without collagen.
Not only that…
See the greenish-brown areas amidst the red?
That is Type III collagen, which is the weak, low-quality form of collagen.
Weak collagen means weak connective tissue.
We ALL have hemorrhoids, or anal cushions.
The problem is, when you don’t have strong collagen and you have weak connective tissue down there, it causes your anal cushions stretch and allow too much blood to enter.
Then the blood can’t leave.
So your cushions become swollen and full — “congested” with stale blood.10
And the more blood you have in your anal cushions, the higher the likelihood you’ll get severe hemorrhoids.11
This causes mucus to be created, which is that oozing, unclean feeling you get...12
And MORE mucus causes MORE inflammation.
It’s a vicious cycle that gets worse and worse.13
Before you know it, you have pain, bleeding, itching, and oozing…
Or as you now know—congested cushions.
This is why everything you’ve tried, like Prep H and sitz baths hasn’t worked:
They don’t stop this vicious cycle of congested cushions.
If you don’t stop what’s causing your anal cushions to swell up and be congested…
And if you don’t stop this vicious cycle from making your hemorrhoids worse…
You’ll continue to suffer like you have been, possibly for years.
You see, that day I met the monk changed everything.
Not only did I find out what caused my hemorrhoids, but I learned how to cure them too.
That day the monk shared his hemorrhoid cure with me.
He showed me not just how to “mask the pain” but how to stop it once and for all.
The answers to my prayers were all in a jar.
The “jar” in the monk’s hands was the result of a decade of research.
You see...
The monk had learned how to conduct research on the latest medicinal herbs, using the same exact methods employed by top scientists at Harvard, Johns Hopkins Medical School, and the Mayo Clinic.
As a pharmacist I was impressed.
Yet, I have to be honest, I was still skeptical.
I wondered what made it so different from everything else I'd tried.
And can something natural really help?
I was desperate for relief, but as a pharmacist I had to know…
The monks believe this herb has almost-supernatural healing powers.
Perhaps that’s why, ever since ancient times, it has been associated with the Virgin Mary.
The scientific community calls it Calendula.
In other words:
Simply amazing, isn’t it?
But remember if you want hemorrhoids to stop coming back you also need: Higher collagen levels.
Remember, more collagen means more connective tissue.
And if you have more connective tissue that’s also STRONG…
Your anal cushions, which we ALL have, stay where they should be — meaning, no hemorrhoids!
Now, get this…
Upon digging into obscure clinical data, the monk found that
calendula could be…
The research panel combed through 1,418 individual studies by hand, and only 14 passed their strict requirements.
They made sure to include randomized, placebo-controlled human clinical trials and studies with follow-ups—which meant the results were accurate and consistent, and remained so, over time.
And what they found was absolutely astonishing!
In one of the review studies, researchers looked into how calendula healed wounds.
The study subjects were split into two groups:
The first group used calendula. The second group did not.
By Day 5, the calendula group already had 25% more collagen…
And by Day 15…
In fact…
Calendula started working immediately, and continued to work two weeks later, with the same treatment from Day 1!
To put this in perspective…
Take a look at this image19 from one of the other studies in the review:
See that bright green stuff?
That’s collagen inside a wound, after 4 days without calendula.
Again...
This is EXACTLY what you need to heal your hemorrhoids.
But just like water in a bucket full of holes…
If you want to KEEP your new collagen…
You have to stop collagen from breaking down in the first place.
In other words, your collagen “bucket” can’t have any holes!
Fortunately…
The review panel also found that calendula kept more collagen from breaking down!20
So as you can see, it’s quite obvious why the monk chose calendula as the first ingredient in his formula…
But like most potent formulas, his remedy contains more than one powerful ingredient.
That’s why the monk added a special compound to his formula.
I know, it’s a long name, so let’s just call it PHC.
Normally, PHC is used as a decongestant for your sinuses.
Think of it like this…
When you get a stuffy nose or a sinus infection, you take a decongestant, right?
Something like Sudafed… or Vicks, even.
That’s how PHC works — but for your congested cushions, aka hemorrhoids.
This compound is used in the ICU, where every
second matters.21
I’ll be honest…
I’m really ashamed I didn’t think of this.
Especially because I RECOMMENDED this compound to people all the time, when I was a pharmacist…
Because it shrinks the swelling, opens up your sinuses, and allows you to breathe freely.
You know how much better you feel, when you don’t have that constant discomfort in your head.
These two powerful ingredients give you a complete formula that attacks your congested cushions…
And does everything you need to heal, and gain relief.
This incredible formula:
After the monk explained the science behind his unique new formulation, I was thrilled and convinced…
He must have seen the excitement on my face, and asked if I would like to try it.
Would I?!
I grabbed the jar, ran to the nearest restroom, and locked the door.
By that point, on a scale from 1–10, my pain was a 15.
Immediately, I applied the cream.
Within an hour, the magic started…
OH MY GOODNESS!!
That was something I could never have said before—it was such a nice relief.
The second thing I noticed was just how FAST the cream worked. It worked in less than 30-seconds.
The pain?
Gone in a matter of minutes. Like, it literally numbed the area. I was so blissed out, I was ready to cry—I'm not even kidding you.
And the itch?
Gone, just as fast. In under five minutes, I had no urge to scratch anymore. And the rest is pretty much history.
The pain and tears and hurt I’d experienced for years were FINALLY gone, allowing me to use the restroom in peace…
And it no longer felt like razors were scraping my rectum, or as if my butt was on fire!
Each application after that, the pain remained around 2–3.
I didn’t want to get ahead of myself, so I kept using the cream for the next two weeks.
This godsend of a cream alleviated my thrombosis, flattening the vessel and letting everything out... so there was no prolapse afterwards!
I couldn’t believe it.
I no longer had to watch everything I ate, for fear of having to poop…
And I didn’t need to take 20 mins to poop because of the pain that came with it.
I’ll be honest, this jar of bliss was threatening to replace my husband on the list of most important things in my life.
I could sit, stand, and lie down however I wanted, whenever I wanted, without the slightest twinge of pain or discomfort.
I was left with nothing but joy, and I thank God every day for leading me to the monk at the monastery, and his miracle formula.
It’s crazy how I’d randomly met a monk and how he changed my life forever…
I was meant to spread the news of this miracle far and wide.
To help women and men all around the world heal their rear ends immediately…
So they can finally find relief…
Live their lives in peace and comfort…
Because the alternative — maybe what you’re experiencing right now — is just no way to live.
So I teamed up with the monks at the monastery, found a highly-regarded manufacturer in the US…
Put up this website you see now…
And started spreading the word as quickly as possible.
And let me tell you…
I’ve been blown away by the response.
Folks just like Lauren B. from Texas…
“As severe as my condition was, this ointment improved everything by 80% in a little over 12 hours!
I had a ‘severe thrombotic prolapse’, as the ER doctor called it. I was told the only solution would be surgery, since the prolapse would re-occur after every bathroom trip, reversing any prior improvement.
This godsend of an ointment alleviated my thrombosis, flattening the vessel and letting everything out, so there was no prolapse afterwards!
I can’t express how relieved I am. If your condition is more severe like mine was, then I highly, highly recommend it!”†
- Lauren B. (Texas)
Sarah A. from California…
“After 7 days of flare-ups, 5 days with excruciating pain from the thrombosed vessel, half a tube of RectiCare, a Prep-H cream medley, enough ice cubes to freeze Hades, and an emergency room visit where they applied granulated sugar directly to my bum hole...
THIS was the only thing that worked AND kept working.
The only reason I didn’t try it sooner was because the pandemic delayed shipment.”†
- Sarah A. (California)
And Barry B. from Oklahoma…
“I have noticed an immediate change.
There is absolutely no swelling at all. I don't have that constant burning or itching, and have felt dry and clean down there all day.
I was a 3-year victim of chronic hemorrhoids, to the point where I was bleeding profusely during every bowel movement.
I went to the doctor and was diagnosed, and had a banding procedure done on my hemorrhoids.
I've had about a month and a half of relief with this. I’m so happy I tried it.”†
- Barry B. (Oklahoma)
These stories are amazing, and are just a small sample of the many happy folks who have claimed their lives back from this awkward disease…
There are a lot more, as you’ll soon see.
However, I must tell you that the formula has changed a little since I first started taking orders.
I wanted to see if we could make improvements to our formula...
And with additional scientific insights, and fresh information based on the most
up-to-date research...
Licorice is a very well-known herb in traditional Chinese medicine22, and Ayurvedic medicine23.
The root, specifically, is the main medicinal part of the licorice plant.
It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say that licorice is good for almost every health condition under
the sun24.
In fact, numerous studies have revealed many pharmacological effects of licorice.
But what’s really important to the new formula, is that licorice is especially powerful against hemorrhoids.3334
But there’s more, and this is really exciting:
Dr. Michael Murray — a doctor of naturopathy who is a regular guest on The Dr. Oz Show, and the author of more than 30 books on natural medicine — found that licorice has effects similar to topical hydrocortisone. 39
If you aren’t familiar…
Hydrocortisone is a steroid medicine used to treat inflammation, redness, swelling, itching and discomfort arising from various
skin conditions.
Some suggest using it for hemorrhoids.
However, it is definitely not safe to use hydrocortisone creams, even
over-the-counter cortisone products, as they have numerous side effects:
Going natural is a better bet…
Considering that licorice has been shown to be “superior to cortisone, especially in chronic cases…”40
Have you ever put cold cucumbers on your eyes to reduce swelling?
Cucumber can have a cooling effect on inflamed hemorrhoids too.
It’s not the refrigerator that does the cooling…
Studies have shown that cucumber on its own provides the cooling effect. 41
Cucumber can be used to relieve pain, heal inflamed skin, reduce burning sensations, and even overcome constipation.42
Cucumber can do all this, thanks to its wide variety of biologically-active compounds, including steroids.43 44
Without the side effects of hydrocortisone.
You can see why we added cucumber to the mix.
You’ve probably heard of it.
France, and the European Scientific Cooperative on Phytotherapy have approved the use of this herb for treating hemorrhoids.45
And…
It’s one of the only medicinal plants approved by the Food and Drug Administration as a non-prescription drug ingredient.46
It clearly works… when used the right way.
Most of the time, it’s mixed with water and applied to wipes.
But that is the wrong form of witch hazel!
The Osage used witch hazel bark to treat skin ulcers and sores.
The Potawatomi steamed witch hazel twigs over hot rocks in their sweat lodges to soothe sore muscles.
Since then, studies have found active compounds in witch hazel that enable it to stop bleeding4849, relieve skin irritation50, reduce blood flow5152, and shrink the size of swollen hemorrhoids.53
Witch hazel gets rid of the pain and itching
of hemorrhoids!54
It’s no wonder witch hazel has the reputation that it does, and so many ancient cultures relied on it.
Aloe is a wonder plant with remarkable antioxidative, antibacterial, and
moisturizing properties.
Both Ayurvedic and traditional Chinese medicine recommend aloe as a laxative, a menstrual regulator, a wound-healer, a UV-protectant, and a remedy for hemorrhoids.55
It’s mentioned in many ancient texts, including the Bible.
Aloe was one of the 16 sacred plants worshiped by the Native Americans.
The Egyptians referred to it as “the plant of immortality”.
Cleopatra, the queen of Egypt, used it in her beauty regimen.56
It helps with collagen creation too.
Aloe keeps your existing collagen from breaking down57, AND helps the body to create new, fresh collagen of its own58 59.
Just like calendula.
Now, you are probably wondering how you can get your hands on this life-changing solution.
So, without further ado…
I’d like to make this new super-formula available to you.
Simple H™ is perfect for those who suffer from multiple hemorrhoid symptoms, including:
By using a new unique delivery system that maximizes ingredient absorption,
Simple H™ works almost immediately to give you comfort and relief.
Severe itching and immobilizing pain are gone, literally in a matter of minutes…
Replaced by hours of relief…
The bleeding stops altogether…
There is absolutely no swelling at all…
No burning sensation, even on raw and irritated skin…
All it takes is a dab of Simple H™ to wipe your hemorrhoids away.
We have worked hard over the past two years with one of the top manufacturers in the business.
They make products that are sold
at CVS, Walmart, Walgreens,
Target, Whole Foods, Kroger,
and even Sephora.60
Everything they make is formulated
by pharmacists.61
They are the real deal, and they’ve helped us to perfect our new formula.
What’s more, every batch of Simple H™ is tested...
To ensure that the ingredients on the inside are the same ones on the label.
What’s more…
Simple H™ is a cream, which is important because it spreads more easily than sticky, goopy gels.
To be honest, it’s expensive for companies to sell products at large retailers.
It cuts into their profits, and they have to make up for this somewhere.
So they end up filling their products with junk — including parabens.
Parabens are chemicals used as artificial preservatives in cosmetic and body
care products.
They are also found in many popular hemorrhoid products like
Preparation H.
There is plenty of legitimate research linking parabens to skin irritation, damaged organs, hormone disruption, and cancer.63
A recent University of California-Berkeley study found that butylparaben — even at very low doses — was able to switch on cancer genes and increase the growth of breast cancer cells.64
I wouldn’t put these things in my own body, and I wouldn’t ask you to do it, either.
Besides…
Even if I wanted to, I know God is watching — and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
Instead, I decided to cut out the middleman, to make the highest-quality
paraben-free hemorrhoid cream I possibly could…
Using natural — safer — alternatives that are actually more effective than the ingredients in the hemorrhoid products available at regular retailers or elsewhere online.
Now, let me ask you something…
How about just living your life without the embarrassment of being “one of those people” who needs a doctor’s visit…
For a stranger to tell you to undress, just so they can take a look at the grape-sized hemorrhoids on your anus?
You can’t put a price on these things.
Look, no one wants to need a product like this, but they will be thankful that something like Simple H™ exists when they do need it.
Put simply…
Simple H™ has saved people’s butts where others have failed.
So if you need a little saving right now, here’s what I can do…
The full retail price of Simple H™ is $99.
However…
If you see the button below, then you’re in luck because…
When you select the 3-tube package, you’ll only pay $49 per tube…
And when you order 6 tubes today, you’ll get each tube of Simple H™ for just $33 each, which is a huge savings of $396!
We’ll cover your U.S. shipping too, so you’ll save an extra $9.95.
Think of it this way…
When you’re dealing with the issues that Simple H™ was formulated to resolve…
Let’s say a tube of Simple H™ lasts you exactly one month.
At the current discounted price of $33 a tube, you’ll be paying only $1.10 per day to be free and clear of pain and itching…
And your bowel movements will be SIGNIFICANTLY less painful.
Is all that worth it?
Well, to me, it definitely is.
For you?
Well, that’s something you’ll have to consider.
But if you’re in pain, and you’ve tried other stuff that didn’t work, I strongly urge you to give Simple H™ a chance....
After all…
Why suffer?
Because… well, like a toothbrush, you don’t really share hemorrhoid cream with others.
Plus, thanks to its many ingredients that have anti-inflammatory, antioxidative, antimicrobial and wound-healing properties…
Simple H™ is effective at healing other skin-related issues like insect bites, eczema, and atopic dermatitis.
It can also soothe inflamed and irritated skin.
So it makes sense to pick up a few extra tubes, to make sure you’re set for a while...
Kind of like what you would do with toilet paper or canned food.
Because if you were to run out of it, and your hemorrhoids eventually came back…
You might try to re-order Simple H™ on our site…
But see an “out of stock” notice instead.
The unfortunate reality is:
As I’ve mentioned…
Our Simple H™ formula contains calendula, PHC, licorice root, cucumber extract, witch hazel, aloe vera…
And many other ingredients designed to heal and soothe your hemorrhoids
upon contact.
There are actually 28 ingredients in total.
With supply-chain issues rippling across the world…
Due to the pandemic and the war in Ukraine…
It’s next to impossible to ALWAYS have all 28 ingredients on hand.
I mean, as you’ve probably seen at your grocery store…
Basic items like toilet paper can go out of stock at any time these days.
So sourcing each ingredient inside Simple H™ from everywhere is
understandably a challenge.
That said, we are actively working to fix this supply-chain issue, so that our customers have more flexibility in the future.
In the meantime, stocking up is the best you can do to ensure you always have enough Simple H™ on hand.
So do yourself, your hemorrhoids, and your skin a favor.
And it makes the most sense for clearing up your hemorrhoids…and keeping them from coming back.
Now, I want to assure you that whichever option you choose…
All I want is for you to be free and clear of excruciating pain and maddening discomfort — for good.
I want you to be happy with the decision you make today.
That includes feeling comfortable about where your dollars go.
If Simple H™ doesn’t work out for you, you don’t pay for it.
It’s as simple as that.
But I’m confident that Simple H™ is going to work wonders for you.
At Simple Promise™, we are so sure of the effectiveness of our product that we are willing to put the entire risk on us.
Our industry best 365 Days Money Back Guarantee states that either you're 100% satisfied, or your money back.
You can place your order safely and knowing that absolutely nothing can go wrong. Give Simple H™ a try and see the difference it would bring to your life.
If at any time you are not happy with Simple H™, just send back your empty boxes and we will refund you immediately.
No questions asked.
We pride ourselves in our product and service and want you to be absolutely satisfied.
No questions asked.
Think about it…
You have an entire YEAR to try
Simple H™…
To see how it improves things…
Decide if it’s right for you…
And still get 100% of your money back.
What all this means is…
You don’t have to stress over this decision.
You’ve got nothing to lose, except for the curse of hemorrhoids you’ve been plagued with.
After that?
You will only continue to feel better.
Simple H™ is nothing short
of miraculous.
It worked for me.
And it has worked for many others who were once
in your shoes.
I believe it will do the same for you.
But you don’t have to take my word
for it.
“If you are anything like I was when I first read through the reviews, you are sitting, or perhaps lying in excruciating pain and discomfort.
One gentleman reviewer wrote eloquently (and I will paraphrase): ‘Every time I made a BM, it was like sh*tting broken Coke bottles out of my rectum.’
When I read that, I laughed so hard that I experienced that same feeling of pain RIGHT in that instant—it was beautiful, and horrible.
Before I could finish reading, I excitedly and without hesitation clicked the ‘Buy It Now’ button—a day later, my life was changed.
Fast forward to Day 1; applying this to the affected area. Instantly, a little sigh of relief. First BM—better, but still insane glass-shard-scraping-your-insides painful. Better, though.
Day 2...2nd BM. MUCH better; still, a 12 out 10. Wondering if this would ever change or if I'd be taking debilitating craps the rest of my entire life.
Day 3...BM #3...wow, the first time in a week and a half I didn't cry like a child who just scraped both his knees on the playground asphalt—whilst performing a basic human need.
Day 4, Day 5...better, each time. I am happy to say that this morning, I experienced a normal bowel movement, thanks to this.
Buy it now. Seriously. Your ass will thank you. No joke. Ӡ
- Charles T. (Missouri)
“Omg. The relief is instant.
I’ve had hemorrhoid issues since I had twins 24 years ago, and around 7 years ago, they flared up so badly that I ended up having a hemorrhoidectomy because of Class 4 thrombosed hemorrhoids.
I swore I would never do that surgery again, because the recovery was nothing short of horrific.
Anyhooo….The little buggers got out of control again, and I tried everything, even down to the pain-relieving cream the hospital recommended previously.
Nothing worked. I curled up in a ball crying at 1am in so much pain, my husband was talking about taking me to the ER.
I ended up having 2 days off work, taking baths, using Prep H and all kinds of creams and ointments every 2–4 hours, just to get some relief.
Then this ointment was delivered. I tried it the night it arrived, and looked at my husband and said, ‘Omg. This is amazing.’
I returned to work the next morning, applied some before I left, and made it through my whole day with no issues.
I’m not sure what this wizardry is, but I’m just gonna go with it. ”†
- Julie B. (Idaho)
“After undergoing a routine colonoscopy in December 2016, I was left with a painful problem—either I had a horrific hemorrhoid, or an anal fissure, not sure which.
I was a very healthy person prior to the procedure, and then I was left a total and complete mess, crying every day.
I spent $200 trying various products and techniques.
Nothing worked—not even slightly.
After 3 solid months of being in 24/7 pain, I decided to make an appointment with a surgeon. However, as a last-ditch effort, I ordered this.
I used this 3 times a day.
All I can say is this was the ONLY product that healed me. It worked right away.
I was so happy to cancel my surgeon appointment.
It has now been over 3 weeks, and everything is totally fine! Ӡ
- Brittany C. (Kentucky)
“I was miserable, and when I first saw this product, I was skeptical!
What made this product so much different from the others I'd tried?
I thought the price was outrageous but I finally was desperate enough to bite the bullet, and wish I’d done it sooner!
Finally free of my discomfort, pain and itching, after six long years since pregnancy. Definitely recommend!
If you have severe hemorrhoids with immobilizing pain, and regular creams do not help, this product is EXCELLENT.
Mine bled, and this cream has helped SO MUCH!!Ӡ
- Terry F. (Florida)
“If you're on the fence about this, don't be.
It actually works so well that I purchased three more tubes, just to keep in the house!
Now, I did go through an entire tube until I healed up, but it was worth it.
Thank you to whoever made this stuff! My home will always have it!Ӡ
- Steve D. (Ohio)
“As someone who ignored the issue for longer than I should have, this has been a blessing.
Results were fast-acting, and my comfort and confidence have been restored.
This saved the day...and my butt.Ӡ
- Rick K. (Texas)
One more thing…
I believe that being well-informed is a sign of intelligence.
That’s why you’re here today.
You came here looking for answers to a problem that has taken over your life.
And now, I’ve given you those answers.
Still, intelligence also means staying well-informed.
They are simply extra bonuses with more health-inspiring information like what you found here today.
Here’s what you get with the 3- or 6-tube packages...
The first one is called:
Find lots of unusual at-home cures that can help you keep your hemorrhoids at bay! (And no, I’m not talking about sitz baths.)
This guide highlights tips and tricks which most people have never heard of before…
Usually, this guidebook book would cost you $29…
But today, Simple Promise™ is giving it for FREE to anyone who orders the 3- or 6-tube package.
As for the second bonus…
It’s called:
This is a special report written up by the researchers at Simple Promise™, and it normally retails for $19.
It contains useful constipation solutions I guarantee you’ve NEVER heard about!
And last, but not least…
The final bonus is called:
This is a compilation of what the greatest minds of our generation have discovered to stay healthy, energetic and youthful — well into their 60s, 70s and 80s.
This secret knowledge is used by the wealthy 1% to stay young, no matter their age.
You’re going to be blown away, when you learn that scientists have figured out ways to age our cells in REVERSE.
(And of course, you’ll also find out how these folks avoid embarrassing ailments of aging like hemorrhoids.)
Best of all?
Regular folks like you and me can get many of these benefits WITHOUT having to shell out a fortune!
In my opinion, this is the most valuable guide I’ve ever read.
And while it normally retails for $39…
You’ll get all three of these bonuses — worth $87 — absolutely FREE, when you order 3 or more tubes.
Again, this information is not required to get rid of your hemorrhoids.
Simple H™ alone is more than enough.
These bonuses are for those who are committed to consistent healing and relief, and value staying informed of the latest in alternative health.
I’m simply matching that commitment.
You can be assured that keeping your private information safe is something we take very seriously.
That’s why our checkout page uses the highest level of encryption technology to keep your information safe and secure.
This is the same kind of security used by Amazon, the world’s largest banks, and even the government.
Fill out the checkout form with your information.
After you submit your order, your package of Simple H™ will be shipped immediately…
And will arrive in just days from now.
To do so, first cleanse the affected area.
Gently dry it by patting or blotting with a sheet of tissue or a soft cloth.
For external use…
Simply apply a pea-sized amount of the cream to the affected area up to 4 times a day, or after every bowel movement.
You can also use the cream internally.
To do this, try to empty your bowel and bladder just before use.
You’ll want to attach the applicator to the tube. Then squeeze to fill the applicator with ointment.
Lubricate the applicator well and then gently insert the applicator into the rectum ½ inch.
Squeeze the tube so that ointment is applied inside rectum.
You will want to avoid having a bowel movement for one to three hours after inserting the ointment.
Before you know it, hemorrhoids will be a distant memory.
It’s as simple as that.
That’s why we called it Simple H™.
I know we covered a lot here today.
So let’s look at the facts…
You can finally be free of discomfort, pain and itching, after suffering for so long.
What you have to look forward to is a life you can call your own again.
You’re putting an end to your “congested cushions”...
Which, until now, you didn’t know how to do.
You’ll be allowing yourself to not only function from day to day…
But also to thrive more than you have been able to, in a long time.
These bonuses are:
Again, your entire order is risk-free.
You have one full year to decide if Simple H™ is right for you.
If it doesn’t work out, you’ll get back every single cent that you paid.
You simply cannot lose.
I’ve shown you overwhelming proof from credible medical journals…
I’ve revealed the REAL cause of your congested cushions, and the reason why the remedies and products you’ve tried in the past don’t work.
Simple H™ is proven to work.
But I can’t make the decision for you…
If you do, your hemorrhoids won’t get better.
Quite the opposite…
They’ll keep getting worse, until they’re as big as boiled eggs between your legs, and all the symptoms you’ve experienced until now will be amplified 10 times or more…
I’ve unfortunately seen the pictures, and it’s not pretty.
I’ve also heard the stories from people who allowed things to get that bad.
By that point, drastic and expensive surgery will be your only option.
Do you really want to take that risk?
Look, there’s a reason you are here right now. It’s obvious that something must change.
So do yourself a favor, and try Simple H™ risk-free now.
And put your misery and anxiety to rest, with the ONLY formula designed to address the real root cause of your congested cushions.
Remember, your investment is protected by our 1 Year,
100% Money-Back Guarantee.
Because of the supply-chain issues I mentioned earlier, on top of the now-out-of-control inflation we are seeing here in the United States…
Supplies will run out soon, and they can take up to 6 months to become available again...
And after the exclusive discount you see here today ends, the price will go back up to $99 a tube.
You are doing the best thing you can to get complete and utter relief, when you submit your order.
I want to congratulate you on making a smart decision.
Thank you for reading, and God bless.
Hi, still here?
Great!
This means you probably have questions.
So let me take a moment to answer some of the common questions we receive…
Simple H™ is for anyone who wants powerful, lasting relief from hemorrhoids.
It starts working immediately, and provides full relief for some people within just 12 hours!
It works best when you use it consistently over time.
It’s super easy to apply.
And if you get 3 or 6 tubes, you can take Simple H™ with you wherever you go, so you are always prepared.
Well…
It certainly worked for me. But not just me.
Simple H™ has also changed the lives of thousands of men and women across the globe.
So, please, if you are unsure about Simple H™ or skeptical about whether it can really work for you, listen to their stories.
They are incredible, to say the least!
“After 3 days in pain, I was looking for anything that might work. I stumbled upon THIS and I decided to try it. BEST DECISION EVER MADE! Day 1, I felt immediate relief. Day 2, I could actually sit without ice. And by Day 3, I was in almost no pain.” †
- Linda L. (New Mexico)
“It's been a little over 24 hours of using this stuff, and I can finally function normally again. For 2 months, I couldn't stand comfortably, sit comfortably, or even lie down without constant pressure and pain. I tried this as a last Hail Mary before scheduling surgery with a surgeon, and it's been nothing short of amazing. Seriously, this stuff is like magic.” †
-Mary D. (Kansas)
According to our real world data…
Some people get immediate relief, and notice a difference in the first 12 hours.
Other people say their symptoms were completely gone within 3 days.
Clinical studies show our main ingredients — calendula and phenylephrine hydrochloride (or PHC)—work instantly.
As you know, PHC is used in intensive care units where every second matters.67
And studies have shown that people who used calendula had 25% more collagen, just after 5 days...
What’s more, wounds treated with calendula formed 108% more collagen after 15 days!
But of course, everyone is different.
And the severity of your hemorrhoids could determine how quickly
Simple H™ works as well.
That’s why I highly recommend that everyone purchase 3 or 6 tubes of it to ensure they can use it consistently over time.
Like a daily vitamin or an exercise routine, it works best with consistency.
You can get the full list of ingredients here.
Just to recap, I mentioned two main ingredients in this presentation.
The first ingredient is Calendula.
Calendula is an important ingredient in Ayurvedic medicine because it’s used for all sorts of ailments…68
In fact, according to David Hoffmann***, FNIMH, AHG, the author of 17 books on medicinal herbs, and the foremost expert on the clinical use of medicinal herbs…
Calendula is “almost a medicine chest in itself”.
Just look at all that calendula can do:
The second ingredient is called phenylephrine hydrochloride or PHC.
It’s a powerful compound used in the ICU, where every second matters.78
It works that fast!
Normally, PHC is used as a decongestant for your sinuses.
And clinical studies have shown its effectiveness when applied topically to hemorrhoids.
Outside of these two main ingredients, the others were specifically chosen to increase the relieving effects of Simple H™.
They’re paraben-free, and have been proven safe and effective.
Simple H is easy to use.
For external use:
First cleanse the affected area. Gently dry by patting or blotting with a tissue or a soft cloth before applying this ointment.
Then simply apply a small, pea-sized amount using your finger anywhere between one and three times per day, and after every bowel movement.
For internal use:
Wash your hands before and after. Try to empty your bowel and bladder just before use.
Remove protective cover from applicator. Attach applicator to tube. Squeeze to fill the applicator with ointment.
Lubricate the applicator well and then gently insert the applicator into the rectum ½ inch.
Squeeze the tube so that ointment is applied inside rectum.
Thoroughly cleanse the applicator after each use and replace the protective cover. Avoid having a bowel movement for one to three hours after inserting the ointment.
To Clean the Applicator:
Wash it with warm water and gentle soap then thoroughly rinse it with water.
Unless you’re 100% satisfied, you’ll get EVERY penny back.
This means, no matter which package you choose, you’re covered by our 365-day money-back guarantee.
If you are unhappy with the product, just reach out to our customer support team on the phone at 1-800-259-9522 or email us.
It’s that simple. No fine print. No hassle.
Great!
All you have to do is decide on which package size is right for you.
Many of our customers choose the 3- or 6-tube package because of the additional savings.
And, well…they don’t ever want to be without relief.
To choose your package, just click on it, fill out your details on the checkout page, and you’ll be well on your way to the most blessed relief you haven’t experienced in a long time.
You’re covered by our 100% satisfaction guarantee.
The only thing left for you to do is take action!
You can leave the rest up to Simple H™. Go ahead and choose now…
But if you’re still wondering if it’s right for you…
The only way to know for sure is to have a little faith, choose your desired package, and complete your order.
Soon, all the irritation…
All the desperation…
Not to mention all the anxiety…
Will simply disappear.
You can breathe a sigh of relief. Get that monkey off your back. And once and for all, heal your backside.
And you’ll know it’s all because of the wise decision you made to try Simple H™ today.
So go ahead, and choose the option below that aligns with your goals.
If you don’t notice an immediate improvement, just contact us and we’ll refund your purchase in full.
You really have nothing to lose…
Don’t hesitate to contact our customer support team.
The toll-free number is 1-800-259-9522, and you’ll talk to a real, live human.
And we’re available 24/7. Seriously.
Don’t forget, when you order 3 or 6 tubes, you’re also getting these
additional bonuses...
That’s an additional $87 of savings, on top of the exclusive discounted prices being offered through this website.
But it’s important to know that these special bonuses and discounts are available on THIS PAGE ONLY, and only TODAY, while supplies last.
So if you’re ready to start taking control of your hemorrhoids…
Just take the leap…
Click the button below, and act right now. Remember, we have a very limited supply of this formula.
When it’s gone, it’s hard to tell when we will have more.
Don’t forget, we are offering massive discounts of up to 67%, only on THIS page.
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